November 30, 2007
Y'all were especially correspondy this weekend (toughest editing job I've had yet), but that means that this thing is longue like shanks, so let's get to it.
On this date in 1803, the Spanish transferred control of the Louisiana Territory to the French. Twenty Days later, the French sold it to Jefferson for $15 million and a third round draft pick (SPORTS JOKE!). Sixteen days after that, Jefferson gave the land to Prussia, they transferred it to Brussia, it eventually ended up in the hands of the Drussians (Northern Drussians, obviously). Ownership then transferred to the Estonians. There was a brief Finnish rule, a moment where it was jointly owned by Argentina and Peru, a time when Argentina and Peru then fought heavily for it, Poland had a say, there was Louisiana self-rule for like a week and a half, at this point the Dutch staked their claim and then Australia was all like "What up?" At that point James Madison had to buy it back from himself for 68 million Austrian Shillings (in today's money-- $9). And now we have Iowa, so I guess it all worked out.
*****
Welcome Haiku
RachelP, regardless
Of what folks may say, ev'ry
Rachel is unique!
Correspondence of the Weak!
Firstly, Brand New IBEater Georgia has coined a new term for how one "digests" (as it were - ahaha) Instant Breakfast:
"...how pleased I am to be reading (eating. reating.) the ol' Instant Breakfast..."
Yes. Reating! Make it so.
Now on to the Haiku Complaints
IBEater Jonesy
"Not to be picky... because I love IB... but, it appears today's haiku has 8 syllables in the middle line... :-) But I could be wrong..."
Some Haiku are different, OK? Just because some of them have eight syllables in the middle doesn't mean they aren't just as good as "normal" haiku. What's "normal" anyway, you know?
IBEater Shannon
"I feel like this has been discussed before, but I maintain that I think it sounds like I-B-eater as opposed to I-beater.... i beater.... doesnt' make sense with the eating of I(nstant) B(reakfast)! Hence your welcome haiku.... a bit funked in the last 6 syllables, yes?"
A thousand times no (no!)! IBEater has three syllables. You're welcome to put your syllable breaks in anywhere you like. But three and three only.
IBEater RachelF, unhappy with being compared to other Rachels:
"Alright Dave, I was all set to have a really nice day - then the nasty Haiku. What's the deal? I know I'm not the first Rachel - but did you have to rub it in my face just because you made a Leanne mistake last week? Harsh."
I just didn't want you to get your expectations all up and then find out that there are other Rachels out there. It's a big beautiful world out there, all full of Rachels and Leannes! Live! LIVE!
Something About a Chart
In response to my saying that I need a chart, IBEater My Mom made a chart.
Name IBeater name Location Interests Specialized knowledge
Susan McGee "IBeater my mom" Southern California Everything David (me), Josh (my brother) and Niall (my nephew) do Some Japanese, David's personal history, grade-school-teacher stuff
You forgot "quick chart making" in specialized knowledge. I feel like this arrived in my inbox like seven seconds after I sent the email. That was FAST, yo!?
IBEater Jason just gave all his information for me to add to the chart:
"Jason LaBumbard. Male, 26. Washington, DC (via Ann Arbor, MI and Boulder, CO). BP - 120 over 80. Height - 5'9. Weight - 145 +/- 10 pounds (depending on holiday consumption). "
He also gave his Social Security number but that's between me, him, and the student loans I just took out in his name.
IBEater My Brother, though? He's just scurred.
" Stats and vitals? Sounds a bit creepy."
Sounds like you need better stats and vitals!
Every Man Dies Edition
IBEater Eric wins this week's award for "email that doesn't actually say anything inappropriate, but gave me the willies anyway" (this is, as you may recall, in reference to the Braveheart Breakfast (part of this complete FREEEEEDOOOOOM):
"Just thinking of the Queen's shanks makes me totally just want to sneak up behind her and usurp her! Oh Holy Geez!"
Eeeeeew.
IBEater RvDO reminds us:
" to quote the great artist formerly known as SNLs Mike Myers, aka Goldmember, aka Fat Bastard aka &c.:
If it's not Scottish, it's Crap! "
That's certainly true. Meanwhile, watch out for his next film: "Stop, Or I'll Beat This Catchphrase to Death!"
Something About Albania
IBEater Michele likes birds with just the one head:
"I grew up across from the Albanian embassy; that is indeed a Very menacing flag. However, the small parcel of land at the base of the stoop to the building was covered in…that's right, Astroturf. Incidentally, Astroturf renders everything kind of innocuous."
Anything to add a little levity. If I had to look at that flag all day I think I'd end up decorating the rest of the place like Panna II: http://www.panna2.com/index.html
IBEater Briana would like to share with the class:
"Rejected Albanian flags:
http://www.psych.usyd.edu.au/psyche/misc/Rorschach/ror1.JPG
(for looking too 'Anubis-heady')
http://www.supmag.com/checkit/images/issue_15/inkblot01.jpg
(too Mothman-y)
http://jurylaw.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/03/inkblot_flickr_580930_7f5f8c5f7e_o.jpg
(for looking too much like two Sufis high-fiving)"
What does it say about you that the last picture looked like Sufis high-fiving? Hmm. I'd say that it says that you have good eye-sight, because that is definitely two Sufis high-fiving.
IBEater Jason -- male, 26 -- knows stuff about Albania.
"Two random Albanian facts for you - one substantiated and the other
only vaguely substantiated.
1. The Albanian National Anthem is about the flag and freaks me out -
http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/al.html. This is the substantiated
fact - I once had a kid in my high school sing this in Albanian and it
freaked me out. It was the last time anyone made fun of him for being
Albanian.
2. The Albanian flag has been on the moon and may still be there -
this is the unsubstantiated fact. I tried to find visual evidence or
a good page validating this but could only find one poorly made page -
http://www.albca.com/aclis/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=642 ."
OK, cool and true on the former, and definitely not true on the latter. But still cool. And really funny.
Various and Sundry
IBEater Jesse got my back:
"Careful! The swamp rabbit might've laid a trap to make you trip into your keyboard! And if he's set *that* trap, who knows what other nefarious trappery is about!"
I've locked this place DOWN, man. There's no way he's getting in here. Where's he going to hide? The only things in my fortress are this computer, my extraordinarily large stuffed animal collection and my realistic zoological topiary. There's no possible way he's in here.
IBEater My Brother, on Saint Radbod:
"They're canonizing WWE fighters now? I assume Radbod would be a ripped San Diego surfer type: laid back in interviews, and ready to unleash the wicked power of his rad bod in the ring.
Also, I'm pretty sure he'd wear a wetsuit. "
(cue: Kokomo) Good God! That's Radbod's music!
IBEater Deena will take you into the weekend with a public service announcement about CotW. I love you all and can't WAIT until Monday. OK bye!
*****
Unsubscribe Information
I think I've had nightmares about that flag. I'm not kidding.
Also, just so we're clear- You know that 84% of IBEater responses to your Breakfasts are in the hopes of making it into the COTW, right? I admit, about 16% of my responses have been 100% genuinely knee jerk (for instance, the hawk. In fact, in the beginning, I was surprised and a bit shy to see my name pop up on Fridays. Later I became proud, even pompous.)
ahem: But the other 84% are with the 60% hope of making it to COTW.
I just want to level with you.
On this date in 1803, the Spanish transferred control of the Louisiana Territory to the French. Twenty Days later, the French sold it to Jefferson for $15 million and a third round draft pick (SPORTS JOKE!). Sixteen days after that, Jefferson gave the land to Prussia, they transferred it to Brussia, it eventually ended up in the hands of the Drussians (Northern Drussians, obviously). Ownership then transferred to the Estonians. There was a brief Finnish rule, a moment where it was jointly owned by Argentina and Peru, a time when Argentina and Peru then fought heavily for it, Poland had a say, there was Louisiana self-rule for like a week and a half, at this point the Dutch staked their claim and then Australia was all like "What up?" At that point James Madison had to buy it back from himself for 68 million Austrian Shillings (in today's money-- $9). And now we have Iowa, so I guess it all worked out.
*****
Welcome Haiku
RachelP, regardless
Of what folks may say, ev'ry
Rachel is unique!
Correspondence of the Weak!
Firstly, Brand New IBEater Georgia has coined a new term for how one "digests" (as it were - ahaha) Instant Breakfast:
"...how pleased I am to be reading (eating. reating.) the ol' Instant Breakfast..."
Yes. Reating! Make it so.
Now on to the Haiku Complaints
IBEater Jonesy
"Not to be picky... because I love IB... but, it appears today's haiku has 8 syllables in the middle line... :-) But I could be wrong..."
Some Haiku are different, OK? Just because some of them have eight syllables in the middle doesn't mean they aren't just as good as "normal" haiku. What's "normal" anyway, you know?
IBEater Shannon
"I feel like this has been discussed before, but I maintain that I think it sounds like I-B-eater as opposed to I-beater.... i beater.... doesnt' make sense with the eating of I(nstant) B(reakfast)! Hence your welcome haiku.... a bit funked in the last 6 syllables, yes?"
A thousand times no (no!)! IBEater has three syllables. You're welcome to put your syllable breaks in anywhere you like. But three and three only.
IBEater RachelF, unhappy with being compared to other Rachels:
"Alright Dave, I was all set to have a really nice day - then the nasty Haiku. What's the deal? I know I'm not the first Rachel - but did you have to rub it in my face just because you made a Leanne mistake last week? Harsh."
I just didn't want you to get your expectations all up and then find out that there are other Rachels out there. It's a big beautiful world out there, all full of Rachels and Leannes! Live! LIVE!
Something About a Chart
In response to my saying that I need a chart, IBEater My Mom made a chart.
Name IBeater name Location Interests Specialized knowledge
Susan McGee "IBeater my mom" Southern California Everything David (me), Josh (my brother) and Niall (my nephew) do Some Japanese, David's personal history, grade-school-teacher stuff
You forgot "quick chart making" in specialized knowledge. I feel like this arrived in my inbox like seven seconds after I sent the email. That was FAST, yo!?
IBEater Jason just gave all his information for me to add to the chart:
"Jason LaBumbard. Male, 26. Washington, DC (via Ann Arbor, MI and Boulder, CO). BP - 120 over 80. Height - 5'9. Weight - 145 +/- 10 pounds (depending on holiday consumption). "
He also gave his Social Security number but that's between me, him, and the student loans I just took out in his name.
IBEater My Brother, though? He's just scurred.
" Stats and vitals? Sounds a bit creepy."
Sounds like you need better stats and vitals!
Every Man Dies Edition
IBEater Eric wins this week's award for "email that doesn't actually say anything inappropriate, but gave me the willies anyway" (this is, as you may recall, in reference to the Braveheart Breakfast (part of this complete FREEEEEDOOOOOM):
"Just thinking of the Queen's shanks makes me totally just want to sneak up behind her and usurp her! Oh Holy Geez!"
Eeeeeew.
IBEater RvDO reminds us:
" to quote the great artist formerly known as SNLs Mike Myers, aka Goldmember, aka Fat Bastard aka &c.:
If it's not Scottish, it's Crap! "
That's certainly true. Meanwhile, watch out for his next film: "Stop, Or I'll Beat This Catchphrase to Death!"
Something About Albania
IBEater Michele likes birds with just the one head:
"I grew up across from the Albanian embassy; that is indeed a Very menacing flag. However, the small parcel of land at the base of the stoop to the building was covered in…that's right, Astroturf. Incidentally, Astroturf renders everything kind of innocuous."
Anything to add a little levity. If I had to look at that flag all day I think I'd end up decorating the rest of the place like Panna II: http://www.panna2.com/index.html
IBEater Briana would like to share with the class:
"Rejected Albanian flags:
http://www.psych.usyd.edu.au/psyche/misc/Rorschach/ror1.JPG
(for looking too 'Anubis-heady')
http://www.supmag.com/checkit/images/issue_15/inkblot01.jpg
(too Mothman-y)
http://jurylaw.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/03/inkblot_flickr_580930_7f5f8c5f7e_o.jpg
(for looking too much like two Sufis high-fiving)"
What does it say about you that the last picture looked like Sufis high-fiving? Hmm. I'd say that it says that you have good eye-sight, because that is definitely two Sufis high-fiving.
IBEater Jason -- male, 26 -- knows stuff about Albania.
"Two random Albanian facts for you - one substantiated and the other
only vaguely substantiated.
1. The Albanian National Anthem is about the flag and freaks me out -
http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/al.html. This is the substantiated
fact - I once had a kid in my high school sing this in Albanian and it
freaked me out. It was the last time anyone made fun of him for being
Albanian.
2. The Albanian flag has been on the moon and may still be there -
this is the unsubstantiated fact. I tried to find visual evidence or
a good page validating this but could only find one poorly made page -
http://www.albca.com/aclis/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=642 ."
OK, cool and true on the former, and definitely not true on the latter. But still cool. And really funny.
Various and Sundry
IBEater Jesse got my back:
"Careful! The swamp rabbit might've laid a trap to make you trip into your keyboard! And if he's set *that* trap, who knows what other nefarious trappery is about!"
I've locked this place DOWN, man. There's no way he's getting in here. Where's he going to hide? The only things in my fortress are this computer, my extraordinarily large stuffed animal collection and my realistic zoological topiary. There's no possible way he's in here.
IBEater My Brother, on Saint Radbod:
"They're canonizing WWE fighters now? I assume Radbod would be a ripped San Diego surfer type: laid back in interviews, and ready to unleash the wicked power of his rad bod in the ring.
Also, I'm pretty sure he'd wear a wetsuit. "
(cue: Kokomo) Good God! That's Radbod's music!
IBEater Deena will take you into the weekend with a public service announcement about CotW. I love you all and can't WAIT until Monday. OK bye!
*****
Unsubscribe Information
I think I've had nightmares about that flag. I'm not kidding.
Also, just so we're clear- You know that 84% of IBEater responses to your Breakfasts are in the hopes of making it into the COTW, right? I admit, about 16% of my responses have been 100% genuinely knee jerk (for instance, the hawk. In fact, in the beginning, I was surprised and a bit shy to see my name pop up on Fridays. Later I became proud, even pompous.)
ahem: But the other 84% are with the 60% hope of making it to COTW.
I just want to level with you.
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