January 11, 2008
It's apparently Independence Resistance Day today in Morocco. Yes! YES! Resist independence with all your might! Be dependent! Rely on others alone! Be incapable of self-sustenance! Become a net importer! By which I mean not an importer of nets but rather one who imports in greater quantities than one exports! Go Morocco! What do we want! Dependence! When do we want it! Whenever it's good for you so don't trouble yourself too much! HUZZAH!
*****
It's time for a full serving of
Correspondence of the Weak!
IBEater Molly likes them apples:
"As my first ever correspondence for IB, I would like to point out that although I am not a full-time resident of Massachusetts, I do hail from and maintain a permanent address in MA...I only bring this up because you made such a big deal about the (1 (I (ONE!)) IBEater in Massachusetts :)"
Instant Breakfast deals not with where you *were*, but only with where you *are*. In that way, Instant Breakfast is totally unlike a tracking dog. Bonus fact: I could not point to Massachusetts on an unlabeled map unless you gave me like three tries. OH CRUEL GEOGRAPHY, WHY oh WHY won't you stay in my mind!
IBEater Lila has memorized large portions of the Cyclopedia:
"Grunion are known for their very unusual mating ritual. At very high tides the females come up on sandy beaches and dig their tails into the sand to lay their eggs. A male then wraps himself around the female to deposit his sperm. For the next ten days the grunion eggs remain hidden in the sand, but at the next set of high tides the eggs hatch and the young grunion are washed out to sea."
Thank you, Lila, that was very informative!
IBEater Adam knows kung fu:
"I say hello to you from Bali, which happens to be in Indonesia...though it is nothing like Indonesia. And Samarang is a samurai's boomerang. And he is already out to find and kill you for dishonoring his weapon."
Drat. Alas. Oh well. While he's already on his way here with a taste for blood, there's a certain rabbit hutch I'd like him to stop by first. You think he'd do it if I asked nicely?
IBEater Owen is looking for moose and squirrel:
"Did you know that Boris-of-Boris-&-Netascha-fame's last name is Badenov? Yeah, Rock & Bullwinkle were GOGOL funny, you know what I'm saying? "
Rocky and Bullwinkle were very influential in the development of my sense of humo(u)r. For instance, Snidely Whiplash stealing away Nell and shouting to Dudley: "Aha! I have her, and you shall never get her back! Or any other part of her!" Ten year old David McGee did most approve. And also, just for the record: OH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IBEater Jason lives in an onion dome:
"I think your readers might like to know that Wikipedia thinks you should go with tsar because it is the closes possible transliteration of the original in "standard" English. But of course we don't care about that over here in the U S of A where we like to rock czar -- and as such it is the only form that Firefox spell checker recognizes as valid. Take that tsar and tzar! And as a further rift between us and the French (see Freedom Fries), they wholeheartedly support tsar!!"
I would listen to a band called Rock Czar. In fact, I kind of think everybody would. RIGHT?
IBEater Jesse is sweepin' the clouds away:
"You forgot about Ethelbert's best friend, Ethelernie."
I just want to meet Ethelsnuffleupagus. That dude is good.
IBEater Valerie uses the Davidian Calendar, apparently:
"You actually threw off my planning for the entire calendar year... "
I can't believe I did that. And I only have four calendars in front of me at my desk, too. Fairies. Cats. The Mediterranean. And "Paradise" which apparently means "Beaches." One of them should have told me it was a leap year. Stupid calendars.
IBEater Adam gets either his fourth or thirtieth CotW email this week:
"I didn't want to say anything about the days, but everyone gives you such a hard time with numbers."
Wait until they figure out that I actually don't know how to read, either.
IBEater My Father spots another error! First he quotes me:
"On this date in 2008, Instant Breakfast announced that from now on it would _____?______ only one terrible joke, but it would make the joke three times in quick succession. That joke was, of course, Proctor & Gamble."
Then he questions:
" I think there is a word missing in the above point. I've tried a few myself and have to confess that even when you make it a complete sentence I may not get the joke…."
Oh, the word is "buttress." That fixes it, right? Right.
Whew.
IBEater Jason takes us into the weekend, with not only a number of facts but also a CODING CHALLENGE! for IBEater My Brother. Let's see what happens. OK, I have to go now. Bye!
*****
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And here I thought you were being funny yesterday by highlighting that it was a leap year and we had an extra day...turns out you were just lying to us all!! Does that mean that I can no longer read the IB as fact??? Moral dilemmas so early into 2008, it is going to be a long year.
Good thing I didn't go in yesterday and start fixing every specific day page on wikipedia!
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/January_9 -- see first two sentences).
I got excited thinking about the leap year and went ahead and checked out Feb. 29 on wikipedia...I am looking forward to that Friday's IB already!!
Last 2 facts for this email:
1. Did you know wikipedia had a tip of the day??! I don't even know if you care or where you glean your item each day but I love all things wikipedia and am unsure how I never stumbled upon this until today. Thank you google search for Feb. 29!! ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Wikipedia_Tip_of_the_day )
2. Excellent information here about leap year - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year . I only bring it up for 2 reasons:
a. Can the IB from this day forth refer to the leap year as the intercalary year?
b. I think you should ask your brother if he knows the leap year algorithm and can code it in under 5 minutes!
That was technically 4 facts...sorry I lied...seems to be the trend for this week...
*****
It's time for a full serving of
Correspondence of the Weak!
IBEater Molly likes them apples:
"As my first ever correspondence for IB, I would like to point out that although I am not a full-time resident of Massachusetts, I do hail from and maintain a permanent address in MA...I only bring this up because you made such a big deal about the (1 (I (ONE!)) IBEater in Massachusetts :)"
Instant Breakfast deals not with where you *were*, but only with where you *are*. In that way, Instant Breakfast is totally unlike a tracking dog. Bonus fact: I could not point to Massachusetts on an unlabeled map unless you gave me like three tries. OH CRUEL GEOGRAPHY, WHY oh WHY won't you stay in my mind!
IBEater Lila has memorized large portions of the Cyclopedia:
"Grunion are known for their very unusual mating ritual. At very high tides the females come up on sandy beaches and dig their tails into the sand to lay their eggs. A male then wraps himself around the female to deposit his sperm. For the next ten days the grunion eggs remain hidden in the sand, but at the next set of high tides the eggs hatch and the young grunion are washed out to sea."
Thank you, Lila, that was very informative!
IBEater Adam knows kung fu:
"I say hello to you from Bali, which happens to be in Indonesia...though it is nothing like Indonesia. And Samarang is a samurai's boomerang. And he is already out to find and kill you for dishonoring his weapon."
Drat. Alas. Oh well. While he's already on his way here with a taste for blood, there's a certain rabbit hutch I'd like him to stop by first. You think he'd do it if I asked nicely?
IBEater Owen is looking for moose and squirrel:
"Did you know that Boris-of-Boris-&-Netascha-fame
Rocky and Bullwinkle were very influential in the development of my sense of humo(u)r. For instance, Snidely Whiplash stealing away Nell and shouting to Dudley: "Aha! I have her, and you shall never get her back! Or any other part of her!" Ten year old David McGee did most approve. And also, just for the record: OH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IBEater Jason lives in an onion dome:
"I think your readers might like to know that Wikipedia thinks you should go with tsar because it is the closes possible transliteration of the original in "standard" English. But of course we don't care about that over here in the U S of A where we like to rock czar -- and as such it is the only form that Firefox spell checker recognizes as valid. Take that tsar and tzar! And as a further rift between us and the French (see Freedom Fries), they wholeheartedly support tsar!!"
I would listen to a band called Rock Czar. In fact, I kind of think everybody would. RIGHT?
IBEater Jesse is sweepin' the clouds away:
"You forgot about Ethelbert's best friend, Ethelernie."
I just want to meet Ethelsnuffleupagus. That dude is good.
IBEater Valerie uses the Davidian Calendar, apparently:
"You actually threw off my planning for the entire calendar year... "
I can't believe I did that. And I only have four calendars in front of me at my desk, too. Fairies. Cats. The Mediterranean. And "Paradise" which apparently means "Beaches." One of them should have told me it was a leap year. Stupid calendars.
IBEater Adam gets either his fourth or thirtieth CotW email this week:
"I didn't want to say anything about the days, but everyone gives you such a hard time with numbers."
Wait until they figure out that I actually don't know how to read, either.
IBEater My Father spots another error! First he quotes me:
"On this date in 2008, Instant Breakfast announced that from now on it would _____?______ only one terrible joke, but it would make the joke three times in quick succession. That joke was, of course, Proctor & Gamble."
Then he questions:
" I think there is a word missing in the above point. I've tried a few myself and have to confess that even when you make it a complete sentence I may not get the joke…."
Oh, the word is "buttress." That fixes it, right? Right.
Whew.
IBEater Jason takes us into the weekend, with not only a number of facts but also a CODING CHALLENGE! for IBEater My Brother. Let's see what happens. OK, I have to go now. Bye!
*****
Unsubscribe Information
And here I thought you were being funny yesterday by highlighting that it was a leap year and we had an extra day...turns out you were just lying to us all!! Does that mean that I can no longer read the IB as fact??? Moral dilemmas so early into 2008, it is going to be a long year.
Good thing I didn't go in yesterday and start fixing every specific day page on wikipedia!
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki
I got excited thinking about the leap year and went ahead and checked out Feb. 29 on wikipedia...I am looking forward to that Friday's IB already!!
Last 2 facts for this email:
1. Did you know wikipedia had a tip of the day??! I don't even know if you care or where you glean your item each day but I love all things wikipedia and am unsure how I never stumbled upon this until today. Thank you google search for Feb. 29!! ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki
2. Excellent information here about leap year - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki
a. Can the IB from this day forth refer to the leap year as the intercalary year?
b. I think you should ask your brother if he knows the leap year algorithm and can code it in under 5 minutes!
That was technically 4 facts...sorry I lied...seems to be the trend for this week...
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