February 1, 2008
OH NO IT'S FEBRUARY EVERYBODY RUN EVERYBODY wait actually it's fine.
On this date in 1946, Trygve Lie is selected as the first Secretary General of the United Nations, setting a high standard in name-silliness that Secretaries General since then have been trying to top.
On this date in 1913, Grand Central Terminal opened in New York as the largest train station in the world. The prophecy says that it will only be surpassed when Grander Central Terminal is built in its place, and that truly the end of the world shall be nigh when GRANDEST CENTRAL TERMINAL falls from above, crushing most of the Western Hemisphere. But man it'll be grand. The grandest! It's gonna happen soon, too. We're guessing like December 12th 2K12 for that, right? RIGHT?
Oh, and on this date in 1918, Russia adopted the Gregorian Calendar. So anybody sharing a birthday with a Russian born post-1918 doesn't have to do any math at all.
*****
Correspondence of the Weak!
IBEater Jason likes Vice Presidential Assassins (not the terrible band):
"I really like corresponding with other IBEaters through you - can we ask Deena how she feels about Burr?? I was always big Burr fan in my AP History class..."
Good question. Is he your personal hero for taking out A. Hamilton?
IBEater Deena, in the meantime, is worried about my ongoing illness:
"I think the Swamp Rabbit has resorted to germ warfare."
And now IBEater My Brother is gnashing his teeth, being all like "I made that joke LAST week and it didn't make it in to CotW, when I said that you caught Swamp Tularemia which is a disease you get from rabbits!" But look, I'm printing this one!
"Patterns, patterns, patterns! Rearrange "Baseball Hall of Fame", and you get Flash of blamable ale. Rearrange "Football Hall of Fame", and you get Fall, fathomable fool! So obviously a hall of fame became an angry drunk in 1936, and and 27 years later, it (predictably) died in drunken infamy. But somehow, it's still around! How is that fathomable?
You see, the hall of fame's name was Thorndike. And he had tularemia, 'cos that's a disease you get from rabbits. "
See, everybody's happy now.
IBEater Jesse runs with scissors:
"Gibraltar is made of rock. Its constitution is made of paper. This is not good at all for Gibraltar."
I did not get it the first time. I got it the second time. And then I laughed.
IBEater RachelF was a fan of yesterday's Corn Laws:
"Absolute best unsubscribe news ever... I'm glad you're not the captain of the ship. If you yelled this over the PA right after disembarking I would jump. Crazy man."
But I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP! COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRN!
IBEater Jason makes the angels weep:
"Are you still sick?? I think so because clearly the abolishment of the Corn Laws led to more stalking!! Get it??!?!?! The shouting is of all the people that are being stalked. Rumor has it the corn paparazzi are big fans of Prince Charles...aka the Duke of Cornwall..."
You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously. One more like this and I'm revoking your CotW privileges. This is just despicable. Instant Breakfast does not stoop to this level. When we talk about Prince Charles, we refer to him by his actual title: The Prince of Whales. BEEEEEEELUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGAAAAAAAA!
(the rest of the correspondence will reference the Great Ariana/Chekov Birthday IB of 2008)
IBEater Caroline shocks me:
"wait... that's it? What about "on this day... (something we've heard of)... (something that sounds vaguely truthful)... (you have a conversation with yourself and hilarity ensues...)" Nothing?? I'm sad. I'm glad it's not my birthday.
Well, I guess I should give you a break. You DO come up with this stuff EVERY day. I guess I'll just have to wait (somewhat) patiently until tomorrow... "
Wait... you're saying there's a predictable TEMPLATE for these emails? That I'm allowing myself to slip into bad habits!? You know what that means! MARTIN AND FISH, BABY!
IBEater Janet changes the subject, just to keep things interesting:
"Hey McGee, What is/are your fave board game(s) again?"
Settlers of Catan. Taboo. SCRABBLE. SCRABBLE FTW.
IBEater Andy takes care of the place while the master is away:
"strong enough for a manos, but p.h. balanced for a womanos."
Seriously. If you haven't seen it, see it: http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-Manos/dp/B00005S8L6
IBEater Ariana is able to stop weeping over having to sell her cherry orchard to compose this email:
"WOW! Well, while the truth has all but turned my world upside down, my disappointment has been dramatically lessened thanks to your birthday wishes and your willingness to do math and look up stuff so early in the morning for me."
Sixty percent of the time, I do math every time.
IBEater Feldman will take you into the weekend with his Mad Math Skillz. Instant Breakfast will return on Monday barring an extra onset of Swamp Tularemia, which is a disease you get from rabbits. In the meantime, have a good weekend. I have to go now. Bye.
*****
Unsubscribe Information
That's awesome! Hey Ariana! If you measured your birthday in the Julian Calendar it would be the same as my birthday, the 4th...oh, but if I measured my birthday in the Julian Calendar it would be December 22nd, and whoever's birthday is dec 22nd, in the Julian Calender it would actually be December 9th....I LOVE Math!! (More specifically, I LOVE subtracting 13 from any given number).
On this date in 1946, Trygve Lie is selected as the first Secretary General of the United Nations, setting a high standard in name-silliness that Secretaries General since then have been trying to top.
On this date in 1913, Grand Central Terminal opened in New York as the largest train station in the world. The prophecy says that it will only be surpassed when Grander Central Terminal is built in its place, and that truly the end of the world shall be nigh when GRANDEST CENTRAL TERMINAL falls from above, crushing most of the Western Hemisphere. But man it'll be grand. The grandest! It's gonna happen soon, too. We're guessing like December 12th 2K12 for that, right? RIGHT?
Oh, and on this date in 1918, Russia adopted the Gregorian Calendar. So anybody sharing a birthday with a Russian born post-1918 doesn't have to do any math at all.
*****
Correspondence of the Weak!
IBEater Jason likes Vice Presidential Assassins (not the terrible band):
"I really like corresponding with other IBEaters through you - can we ask Deena how she feels about Burr?? I was always big Burr fan in my AP History class..."
Good question. Is he your personal hero for taking out A. Hamilton?
IBEater Deena, in the meantime, is worried about my ongoing illness:
"I think the Swamp Rabbit has resorted to germ warfare."
And now IBEater My Brother is gnashing his teeth, being all like "I made that joke LAST week and it didn't make it in to CotW, when I said that you caught Swamp Tularemia which is a disease you get from rabbits!" But look, I'm printing this one!
"Patterns, patterns, patterns! Rearrange "Baseball Hall of Fame", and you get Flash of blamable ale. Rearrange "Football Hall of Fame", and you get Fall, fathomable fool! So obviously a hall of fame became an angry drunk in 1936, and and 27 years later, it (predictably) died in drunken infamy. But somehow, it's still around! How is that fathomable?
You see, the hall of fame's name was Thorndike. And he had tularemia, 'cos that's a disease you get from rabbits. "
See, everybody's happy now.
IBEater Jesse runs with scissors:
"Gibraltar is made of rock. Its constitution is made of paper. This is not good at all for Gibraltar."
I did not get it the first time. I got it the second time. And then I laughed.
IBEater RachelF was a fan of yesterday's Corn Laws:
"Absolute best unsubscribe news ever... I'm glad you're not the captain of the ship. If you yelled this over the PA right after disembarking I would jump. Crazy man."
But I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP! COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRN!
IBEater Jason makes the angels weep:
"Are you still sick?? I think so because clearly the abolishment of the Corn Laws led to more stalking!! Get it??!?!?! The shouting is of all the people that are being stalked. Rumor has it the corn paparazzi are big fans of Prince Charles...aka the Duke of Cornwall..."
You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously. One more like this and I'm revoking your CotW privileges. This is just despicable. Instant Breakfast does not stoop to this level. When we talk about Prince Charles, we refer to him by his actual title: The Prince of Whales. BEEEEEEELUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGAAAAAAA
(the rest of the correspondence will reference the Great Ariana/Chekov Birthday IB of 2008)
IBEater Caroline shocks me:
"wait... that's it? What about "on this day... (something we've heard of)... (something that sounds vaguely truthful)... (you have a conversation with yourself and hilarity ensues...)" Nothing?? I'm sad. I'm glad it's not my birthday.
Well, I guess I should give you a break. You DO come up with this stuff EVERY day. I guess I'll just have to wait (somewhat) patiently until tomorrow... "
Wait... you're saying there's a predictable TEMPLATE for these emails? That I'm allowing myself to slip into bad habits!? You know what that means! MARTIN AND FISH, BABY!
IBEater Janet changes the subject, just to keep things interesting:
"Hey McGee, What is/are your fave board game(s) again?"
Settlers of Catan. Taboo. SCRABBLE. SCRABBLE FTW.
IBEater Andy takes care of the place while the master is away:
"strong enough for a manos, but p.h. balanced for a womanos."
Seriously. If you haven't seen it, see it: http://www.amazon.com/Mystery
IBEater Ariana is able to stop weeping over having to sell her cherry orchard to compose this email:
"WOW! Well, while the truth has all but turned my world upside down, my disappointment has been dramatically lessened thanks to your birthday wishes and your willingness to do math and look up stuff so early in the morning for me."
Sixty percent of the time, I do math every time.
IBEater Feldman will take you into the weekend with his Mad Math Skillz. Instant Breakfast will return on Monday barring an extra onset of Swamp Tularemia, which is a disease you get from rabbits. In the meantime, have a good weekend. I have to go now. Bye.
*****
Unsubscribe Information
That's awesome! Hey Ariana! If you measured your birthday in the Julian Calendar it would be the same as my birthday, the 4th...oh, but if I measured my birthday in the Julian Calendar it would be December 22nd, and whoever's birthday is dec 22nd, in the Julian Calender it would actually be December 9th....I LOVE Math!! (More specifically, I LOVE subtracting 13 from any given number).
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